Feels

So, let me paint another update of my life.

Marching Season is OVER. I'm sad, but relieved. I was/am really drowning in homework. We preformed our last show at State (Didn't make finals, but hey! It was our first year in 5A and we MADE FUCKING STATE! <3), and it was beautiful. I really enjoyed it. Something that I felt so privileged to be apart of, you know? c: While we were in San Antonio for State, we went to Riverbend Mall, which was HUGE.
GINORMOUSLY HUGE.
All the things, you guys.
OKAY ONE SECOND, DETOUR. This is going to link into the relationship thing;
there is this girl I really like, and if you know me then you know I'm super into guys, but I've always been open to anyone I happen to fall for. She is adorable and hilarious and quirky and AUGH <3 I really like her, okay. So, this has been going on for a month or so, and I've been avoiding doing anything because I don't want to ruin our friendship.
SO, back on track, at the mall in San Antonio, my friend Britney had volunteered a couple days before to ask her if she liked anybody, and while I was talking to our other friend Vicky on the other side of the store, Britney told her "Oh, hey! I had this dream that Vicky and I were going out, and Clare and you were going out." blahblahblah "You know, it'd be really cute if you guys went out!" Then Ana (augh, yes, that is her name I guess I'm pouring all my soul out onto the internet but fuck it, it's no secret because asuiofghsdug) made this face she does where she scrunches it up, and she walked away and refused to talk about it. When Brit told me this, I knew it either meant she was so disgusted by the thought that she didn't even want to imagine it OR that she liked me like that and was too embarrassed about it/didn't want to face it. So I was confused for awhile but it kind of floated out of my mind as I watched performances and such. Then we were riding home and we cuddled like we always do and I had my arm wrapped around her and it felt so nice like aahjfhsdgbviI KNOW I AM JUST SO DISGUSTING WITH MY INFATUATIONS SHOOSH SHOOSH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Then as we got off the bus, Britney and I were walking alone back to the school and she told me when I went somewhere and left them alone, something resembling this happened:
A: I HATE YOU, BRITNEY!
B: What??
A: Nevermind..
B: No, tell me!
A: It's just- after you told me about the dream that you had, I can't stop.. thinking about it!
[[some other stuff maybe?!]]
B: Wait, do you like Clare?
A: Yes!

I was so happy.
I am so happy.
I know this means I'll have to make a move soon, but I'm just... enjoying this <3 because it's actually plausible, you know?
Augh, sorry. My life isn't terribly interesting without some relationship drama, yeah?
You love it, shut up.
Well, anyways, my day kind of sucked because I'm stressed because I missed two A days in a row, and my hw is piling up, and even though I'm watching movies with Ana friday I have to spend the rest of my weekend doing woorkkkk.
I'm okay with that, though, I want to get caught up again.
OH, ALSO, I missed the Regina Spektor concert thanks to my 3hour-before-state practice.
I wanted to cry.
I hope she'll come around again <3 I really adore her..
So, Thanksgiving is coming up, and that will be with my mother, who, btdubs, has gone full on crazy christian.
Like,
forcing-my-brothers-into-being-religious-posting-bible-god-shit-on-fb-every-hour CC.
I love her but, jesus, tone it down.
And CHRISTMAS IS COMING UP <3
AND MY 17TH BIRTHDAY <3 <3 <3
Excited.
SO EXCITED.
I want a car or a good laptop, that would be reallyreallyreally nice.

Finally, my art. I may have to go back on those point commish requests I have, because digital art and deadlines are not my friends atm. Trad sketches barely even get done, I just.. it's hard to find time for it :c
But I'll do my best to persevere!

Love you guys, whoever's reading <3 Updates soon to come, hopefully art ones.